Introspection into self

September 1, 2020September 25, 2020Brian Kagoro 1 Comment

Suffering and lack have never been the greatest threat to humans. The greatest threat to the human species in abundance. Human beings are dissolved into the things they create or own. Being fully human is – in a silly way – measured by reference to one’s material possessions. Even preachers propagate this heretic approach to life that measures humanity through things.

You can ask people that have big jobs, steady wealth or even just paupers with plenty of cash or dealers or occultists with every trinket that money can buy.

They will tell you that it is possible to have things and absolutely no peace of mind or emotional satisfaction. Some have to take sleeping tablets or alcohol in order to get a little sleep. You can have it all and yet poor health makes it all worthless . You can be the standard of affluence and social influence and yet fail to have a single functional relationship. So, you’re not what you own, even if it is a lot of stuff !

It really doesn’t matter what everyone else says about you. At the end of the day ,your self-worth is measured by the legacy you leave behind for your family, community, organisation or country.

Dr Martin Luther King Jnr , Kwame Nkurmah, Julius Nyerere and other human heroes did not leave us things. No ! They didn’t leave us billions of dollars either. They left us words, ideas, examples and inspiration! We still draw from their legacy bank for our daily struggles.

So, let me ask again, what will be your legacy ? How long will it last judging from the quality of your investments in people, processes and relationships? How authentic is your investment?

The beginning of any great journey asks that you prepare the following:
a. The driver
b. The Vehicle
c . The passengers
d. Check the route, figure out where stops are and where you can refuel
e. Check the weather

You check fitness of the driver,safety of the vehicle, fuel,oil, water, coolant, Automatic transmission fluid , tyre pressure, wheel balancing & alignment . You ensure that your tools and spare wheels are safe and sound on board the vehicle . As you drive you constantly are on the look out for traffic signs , other road users, animals and dangerous road conditions. If this is about your life journey, what might be the equivalent of the things that you need to check about yourself, your chosen vehicle, career, calling , hobby or vocation ?

As a start, please ask yourself the following nine( 9) questions and the answers will help you understand interesting things about who or what you are:-

If you were a music genre , what would you be and why ? If you were a song , what kind of song would you be ? And why ?
If you were a sport, which sport would you be ? And why ? How many people would play you ?
If you were money, which currency would you be and why ? What denomination of that currency would you be and why ?
If you were a film type ( e.g. drama, Sci-Fi, Comedy, Action etc) which type would you be and why ? How long would you be ?
If you were a book, what type of book would you be ( e.g. Encyclopedia, dictionary, bible, fiction, poems , etc) and why?
If you were a holiday destination, which would you be and why ?
If you were a body of water (natural or man made) which would you be ? ( e.g. river, pool, lake, ocean, waterfall ,spring , fountain, stream, borehole,pond, etc)
If you were a colour, which colour would you be and why ?
If you were an animal (domestic or wild) what animal would you be and why ?

These questions tell you a lot about the following aspects of your life :

Your subconscious thoughts
Your vision, values and mission in life
Your fantasies, desires and sense of self-worth
Your fears and insecurities
Your value to others and how you value others
Your spiritual, social & sexual life
What you want other people to think about you

NB. Your desires and your fears are related to your experiences and your exposure. Your Faith, self-confidence and self-worth are linked to your sense of assuredness in backup, support or even security. The more secure you are, the more self-confidence and greater adventure seeking you tend to be. There are exceptions . Sometimes fear, desperation or the hunger to be someone, something or somewhere can create a social, emotional, intellectual or even spiritual adrenaline to achieve extraordinary things.

Of toxic humans & critical consciousness

August 31, 2020September 25, 2020Brian Kagoro Leave a comment

Friends, when a regime arrests and harasses high profile activists, opponents, and critics, be careful that these are not grand diversions and distractions from the core issues at hand, namely: endemic corruption, incompetence, and impoverishment.

It is a clever ploy to get everyone to focus less on the robbery transacted by elites and focus more on their collective and/or individual safety. This shift in focus gives looters relief and the space to ransack national coffers some more without anyone paying them attention or being a nuisance by asking inconvenient questions.

I have often been amazed by how we have – and continue to – reproduce the vices of our oppressors in our approach to leadership and also in how our imagination is tied to narrowly defined versions & visions of leadership.

This idea that conflates – or confuses – leadership with the ruling, domination, personalization, oppression of others, exclusion of those we disagree with, and hogging power. Leadership is seen only as a position and a possession ( a thing, Chinhu chedu, into yethu , etc). People kill – and go to the depths of occultism- in order to keep positions and this idea of leadership as a possession.

The process of leadership is – of necessity – characterized by mutuality; value-exchanges and co-creation between the led and the leadership. Leadership Traits and outcomes of leading – though important- don’t define leadership. The complex interactions between the bottom, top, and middle shapes, molds, directs, guides, restraints, and catalyzes the leadership dynamic or process.

That is why it is dangerous to have captive crowds that don’t reciprocate or contribute ideas beyond ululation and adulation. Crowd support can be intoxicating and blinding, especially in what it does not tell us about leadership as well as in what it hides. But you will always have such crowds if you don’t build critical consciousness in the society.

Critical consciousness is about the responsibility and accountability of everyone to shape the present, the future, and the society that we want. The multiplicity city of leadership allows a totally different approach to create unions on today’s and tomorrow’s challenges. The idea of One Leader who is the fountain of knowledge, wisdom & Innovation is a comical lie. A childish prank! One person cannot be the Mega Mall of everything Leadership. What is tragic though is the idea that the leader makes no mistake? How is this even possible to imagine let alone think about it?

We must viciously fight the personalization of stats States institutions. In politics, the rise of personality cults is -by nature -a very violent & exclusionary process. It is often dominated by thugs or political party Activists-Cum-Criminals.

Fi, st, you have a de-ideologization of politics. Second, ethical vacuums become entrenched Third, personalization becomes normalized. Then Villagization was followed by the family dynasty. This is why Julius Nyerere warned that African Nationalism- if it is not at the same time Pan-Africanist – is anachronistic. At such levels of political decomposition, appealing to ethical standards becomes futile because none exists. Referring to ideological consciousness is meaningless because no ideology guides greed & personalization

Well, there are merchants in every situation. These appeal to the naivete, insecurity, or narcissistic disorder of the Leader. If you’re the leader watch out for the signs of capture, manipulation, deception, and corruption.

These are:-
1. CAPTURE BY TITLES – You get these ever so helpful and generous subordinates who are always there when you need them ( Danger Skelem) . They insist on lavishing you with titles gifts, and obsessive attention. They begin insisting that everyone else should use these titles to refer to you Your real identity gets buried in fancy high-sounding titles. Please wake up ….You have less money than Jeff Bezos Bill Gates and Warren Buffet …Less fame than Barack Obama …Less infamy than Donald Trump …And you have dozens of Titles? For the Why My friend gets substance ….don’t make up for what you lack in substance through titles!

What these title-conferring tricksters don’t disclose is that they are using you as a stepping stone to their sinister agenda. They are forcing on you what they really want for themselves. If you don’t believe me, fire them or ignore them for 8 months and you will see how vicious they become towards you! They don’t love you, they are simply using you to gain authority over those you lead and credibility with your peers!

Before you know it, they will isolate and insulate you from everyone else except themselves. Then you will be fully captured! They will tell you who is loyal, who is trustworthy, who is for or against you. As sure as nightfall, they will soon use you to eliminate anybody and everybody in your team that they see as competition. This is a classic case of the Leader serving as errand boy or girl for power merchants or influence entrepreneurs

2. GIFTS and CELEBRATIONS: people must appreciate their leadership. But why is it necessary to flood Leadership with gifts that do not help broaden the leader’s impact and vision? Let me explain something to you. No matter how much you need personal things as a leader your best people are those who give to your business or mission & not just your needs. If your mission is technology, employment creation, Arts health, education, etc. Your greatest supporters are not the ones that build you a Blue Roof House…No It is those that donate to your Tech advancement, National Arts Fund, Education scholarships, Health Infrastructure development, etc. They are concerned about your legacy and not just your ego! So, this celebration of days and full adverts in newspapers and rituals of appreciation are more for the doer than the Leader. They are a means of capture!

3. ENEMIES, PLOTTERS & SCAREMONGERING:- There are people who plot and do harm. Don’t be naive always be alert to this reality But if you are surrounded by people who are more conscious of witches, wizards enemies & plotters than opportunities …..you’re finished!

In order to make a difference as a leader, you need to anticipate and prepare for opportunities. All opportunities require teams of motivated people. They require more accessible- not detached – leaders. Always get the pulse of your team directly, not through intermediaries. Some people work to manage your 24/7 and thus prevent you from knowing, feeling, experiencing, or seeing anything but what they want you to. These babysitters are dangerous. More so if as a leader you develop co-dependencies with them! Babysitters tend to be experts at cover and cover-up as well as scaremongering.

Scaremongering is the surest way to capture any leader. Devious characters work tirelessly to create or enlarge insecurities in the leadership that only they can eliminate. That way they become indispensable to the leader Be very careful that such characters! If you’re not alert and wise as a leader, they will make you eliminate your most dependable, loyal, and productive Team Members.

As a rule, I watch out for characters that are too heavily invested in organizational politics. They are usually the most unproductive in the organization. They are simply human destruction machines …TOXIC HUMANS!

Four Realities that have Liberated Me

August 31, 2020September 25, 2020Brian Kagoro 1 Comment

I long since reconciled with four realities and these have liberated me, my actions and thoughts:

1. STAGNATION & IMMOBILITY :

I realized that I am not a rock destined to be stuck in one place (physically, mentally, socially, economically) until some dynamite blows me away or some flood buries me. Motion/movement may not be progress, but stagnation is the surest way to die or rot (intellectually, socially, politically, economically, or spiritually).

Think about it, you were born into a loving family that nursed & nurtured you into independent adulthood, but you left them to establish your own home. The same way you didn’t stay in kindergarten, primary school, high school, college, or university, even though it was fun and you had great friends.

Each day, week, month, year, and decade is about creating new versions of yourself, new memories, new networks, new achievements, and ultimately a colorful and enjoyable journey

2. JOB PRISONER:

Work (a job) is not a monogamous marriage based on the vow, “Till Death Do Us Part”. It is not a war zone either where you go each day to engage in mortal or fatal combat. If you have a skill and you’re stuck in an emotionally exhausting job and you have become an expert at the bruising fights at work ….look in the mirror and repeat the following words after me ….”I am an imbecile and I suffer from inferiority complex and the fear to try something different, somewhere different on my own or with different partners, clients or customers”.

It is not loyalty or love keeping you in that abusing work environment each day fighting viciously. It is fear to move on orders to start your own thing. In simple term s, it is grand delusion and Foolishness. You are afraid of your own inadequacy and you’re afraid to fail on your own terms. You doubt your ability to stand professionally or economically without the crutches of an abusive job. So you embrace this abuse as your fate and are addicted to it Forgive me for being candid!

You don’t own the company, you have no shares in it, you feel unappreciated, used, abused, underpaid? You are getting health issues because of the job Look you’re not staying there for the bills or your children’s school fees or pension. You’re like that man Jesus Christ found at a pool and had been waiting for 38 years for healing. He had legitimate sounding excuses “when the water stirs, I have no one to lift and put me in there in order to get my breakthrough”. The answer to him was as simple as my advice to me and to you…Get Up take your mat, and Go!

3. TOXIC NICENESS:

I realized right from home (my extended family), church, work, school, sports, etc, are people that mistake ‘NICENESS’ for ‘GOODNESS’. This is going to sound very arrogant, but it is true…I didn’t come to earth to be NICE I am not chocolate or a pack of sweets. Neither are you!

Ever wondered why most medicines are not nice? Here is the answer, you risk perpetuating injustice, hypocrisy, oppression, mediocrity, and stupidity because you value NICENESS more than truth, frankness, and openness. So people never get to know who you really are, what you really think or feel beyond that nice smile, personality, and demeanor. Each fake smile is a nail in your coffin and all your relationships

Now, this does not mean that you should be mean or nasty. It simply means that you should stop deceiving yourself, your children, your spouse, friends, workmates, leaders, and neighbors. Let your YES be a true YES and your NO be a frank NO! Don’t be so nice that you can’t say NO!

Learn to tell people the TRUTH (or your version of it). It might hurt for a while but they will appreciate you for it. Don’t ever get promoted or favored for NICENESS, let it be for INTEGRITY, Candour, and Performance.

Toxic NICENESS is born out of a fear of rejection, lack of self-confidence, and the desire to be loved, adored, and appreciated. Some parents are so nice, they lead their children to ruin. Some bosses are so nice they destroy their entire organizations as badly as do very nasty bosses. Some friends are so nice they cheer you to hell and self-ruin. Your toxic NICENESS is responsible for a lot of future pain, destruction, and ruin. It spoils people around you; it cushions them from the consequences of their bad choices and the accountability they so badly need ….And it does not prepare anyone for the real world without you playing ANGEL. Stop it!

4. FEAR OF BEING FORGOTTEN or Fear of Missing Out (The young ones call it – FOMO)

I realized there is a reason why I am not AIR, I don’t have to be everywhere. I actually don’t have to be everything. Learn to Chill! You’re not GOD, you are neither Omnipotent, Omniscient nor Omnipresent. My friends and family will tell you this, I know how to enjoy my own company, agenda, training, projects, and books. I was liberated from the need to be always with the crew. I learned to balance Me-Time, family Time, group Time, and Chill time

I started off by making a lot of friends across class, religious, political, ethnic, national, racial, and professional groups. These became my everyday University. I call, text, or communicate with them regularly. I don’t feel the need to be dominant or present in any one dimension all the time. I have seasons of presence and focus. Friends, workmates & family often want you to be in one place all the time. You cannot, you shouldn’t and you must not! Your greatest value is a balance between absence and presence.

Each time I travel I always bring my family and friends gifts or souvenirs from the trips. But I return with new stories, memories, perspectives, experiences, and something of value. The most dangerous teachers (or preachers) are those that lack exposure from interaction with others outside their domain of influence. Lecturers that go on sabbatical rest and often return with new insights and even methods

Permanent presence as a leader often hides as much the incompetence and incapacities of your team as it does their creativity, innovativeness, and growth. You cannot be there barking instructions all the time One day you will be arrested, fall sick or die and they have to do stuff without you. Your children, spouse, friends, and comrades have veto make keep without you. Practice absence that permits growth and responsibility.

NB. I know that my talent is not equivalent to personal growth That you can be immensely talented and an intellectual or emotional toddler. I am certain that as you are reading this you are already putting several names to this in your head.
I realized early that my growth required the following :
A. Constant reading and mobility ( exposure)

B. Liberation from the myth of Job Security that degenerated into a lifetime Workplace imprisonment ( Golden Handcuffs)

C. That I stop trying to be nice in order to be liked, loved, and accepted. That I be authentic and real and if need be, be tough. Tough love isn’t nastiness, it is the refusal to comfort people engaged in Foolishness

D. That it was alright to be forgotten, to miss out on some things ( even important moments & things) and absence do not in and of itself kill the things that I care about …… the only desertion does That sometimes permanent presence is destructive and inhibits growth and maturity amongst those that you lead . Always delegate, but more importantly give people responsibility and trust them to make mistakes that they themselves correct!