Three (3) rules are golden in any relationship based on trust, mutuality and/or intimacy. These are :-

• Never embarass,belittle or contradict each other in public

• If you want to chastise or criticise your person, partner or comrade use the side-bar option or use your privileged access to convey your undiluted displeasure or difference of opinion; and

• Avoid auto-correcting, upstaging or contradicting your ‘Boss’ in meetings or public, especially if you have the luxury of time to advise them appropriately to correct their mistake, misconception or misstatement. Retain their dignity without compromising your principles

PUBLIC or PRIVATE DEBATE

In my view, differences regarding strategy, tactics or nuance can be litigated privately. Unless there is no other opportunity to do so before a binding decision is made. BUT any ideological flippancy or abdication of principle has to be addressed publicly because of the fundamental harm it causes in long-term. This includes Lifestyle contradictions, hypocrisy and lies.

IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU

Sometimes confidence or assertiveness is merely loud insecurities or narcissism. There is a fine line between the desire to be seen as objective or neutral and projection of your own narcissistic, self-righteous or disdainful view of another, especially your comrade, leader, lover, sibling or partner. As stated above, there are several exceptions to this general principle of managing public display of Differences (PDD), including the fact that some people will accept that they are or were wrong in private only to repeat the same offensive conduct again in public. Such has to be publicly called to order. If you always make everything about you, your feelings and your opinions, then you miss the great opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others as well as your own.

RELATING TO LIARS, LAZY FOLKS and HYPOCRITES

In every area of life and endeavour, there are folks you relate with that can potentially become an embarrassment to you and the team, family or collective. This is because despite all the advice, they seem to be addicted to certain self-destructive tendencies or they are such serial liars, lovers of things, hypocrites or serial Flip-floppers. Between their unbridled ambition and dishonesty, there is nothing else but make up , heels, suits, empty words or clichés. They have no shame at all. You know, there is nothing as painful as liars with bad memory ! They forget so fast and create reality out of nothing or just pure fantasy.

DON’T BE DUMB! Manage Sensitive Information

Please don’t be DUMB! Don’t go to your friend, neighbours, siblings , workmates or comrade and tell them sensitive or personal information and charge them to keep it a SECRET. Agghhh, BUT even you couldn’t keep it to yourself. They Can’t & Won’t keep your SECRET. Don’t be angry that they do the expected! You exposed yourself and that secret will be weaponized against you publicly!

I long figured out why break-ups, separations, divorces, business partnerships or Company dissolution are messy, vicious & emotionally draining. It is because of all the dirty , deep or sensitive information each side holds and fears will be shared generously to all and sundry. You better not have weaknesses (physical, mental, emotional, financial, professional and etcetera), these will become open source data!

If you don’t want anything or something (good or bad) you say about someone else or yourself to reach him or her, then don’t say it at all. Think it and keep it! Information (juicy or trending) in the hands of a friend, a sibling, neighbour, comrade or an enemy is like a new toy, shoes or dress to a child. It will be repeatedly flaunted Oh!