1. KNOWING ME: I would never have truly known myself were it not for my family, friends, colleagues, and Comrades. Each of them has helped to expose the excellent, great, good, bad, ugly, inelegant, underdeveloped, backward, immature aspects of me. I cannot say that each word, act, or aspect of this self-discovery journey has been comfortable or nice. Some have occurred with unbelievable unpleasantness, disappointment, betrayal, loss, or abuse. Yes, please write this down …..siblings, friends, comrades, workmates, and lovers can be extremely abusive. You most probably also are and folks haven’t dared to tell you!

2. MANY EXAMPLES & LIVING ROLE MODELS – Each day I have the privilege to learn from great Africans (known, unknown, and yet to be known). Some of my role models are younger than me, others my age, and others are older. I refused to learn only from the perfect and experienced. I have phenomenal teachers and living examples of excellence, commitment, compassion, integrity, genius, joy, and authenticity cutting across different classes, sexes, nationalities, faiths, and ages. I have learned to openly admire great abilities, capabilities, talents, personality, and character. I have learned to tell people that they are great, even when I disagree with them, their approach, and their point of view. I have also learned to tell anybody and everybody that cares to listen about how well many people I have encountered are. When I realized that I didn’t have to be the greatest at everything and every time, I couldn’t stop seeing greatness in other people and supporting it!

3. THE REFLECTION OF THE LOVE of others. I am, therefore, the product of endless kindness, generosity, mercy, compassion, patience, solidarity and selfless friendship! I cannot help but be eternally grateful to life, God, family, friends, and Comrades.

Each part of my life is a reflection of their love. There is a lot that I have and continue to do for myself, but yoh! The brick and mortar that others have put in would take me 100 years to enumerate. They have built me with questions, suggestions, insults, rebukes, words of inspiration, sharp criticism, sometimes unfair rumors, and lies. Every single one of these building materials makes for a stronger me.

4. TAUGHT & MADE BY MANY: I am grateful to hundreds of thousands of great human beings who over the years have knowingly and unknowingly taught me life skills, professional skills, everyday skills. Taught me to type, drive, walk, speak, think critically, pray forgive, love&laugh. I have had many mentors – (we all do) from the day we were born many hands do the work of God and weave us into the neat packages presented at each next stage of life. Don’t ever try and take credit alone for the success of any person. You are not the only builder that has fashioned the end product. Have the humility to know and acknowledge this! There are many truths that you do not know about your Mentees!

5. MATURITY- Pasca Tawonezvi used to say – “Does not ring an alarm or bell”. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you are now a grown-up and you should stop acting your shoe size or behaving like a wannabe Hollywood, Bollywood or Nollywood celebrity!

Remember that IMMATURITY in any human being has several attributes, including:-
(a) An abiding sense of entitlement&Selfishness. You think and believe that your parents, siblings, family, friends must give you what you want because you’re related to them or have a relationship with them? You’re are very selfish! You keep talking and you never give unless it serves your selfish desire for profile or PR

(b) A desire for instant gratification. Everything must happen now with no regard to reality or process. This is why you are easily deceived, because you want instant wealth, fame, power, etc with neither method, strategy nor work ??

(c) Endless demands not backed up own work, effort, discipline, or innovation. It’s always dreaming that someone else ( a Blesser, Parent, Sibling, Boss, etc) must pay for. Some even make babies and plan grand marriages or holidays on other people’s budgets

(d) Childish Joy or Happiness derived from seeing, doing, or having things. This desire for trinkets to hide emptiness is the highest form of hollow and shallow living

(e) Childish Tantrums or manifesting against anyone and everyone that calls your bluff or challenges you or refuses or rejects you. Adults know that the reality of life comes with inevitable rejection, loss, denial, refusal, and yes sometimes failure and lack. Grow up and Get used to this reality.

(f) Constantly comparing yourself to & competing with others. When your identity is solely based on being better than the next person, then you have a very deep ocean of personal insecurities. Be enough in yourself. Beat you at everything and not other people. Help other people achieve their dreams & visions.

(g) LIES and MADE UP stories. Immature folks sometimes tell the dumbest lies and for absolutely no reason. You cannot lie to yourself to rock star status, legend, or sainthood. Someday the lies will outpace you or some people will take you too seriously and discover that you’re nothing but a hoax, a fraud! Some even gain the courage of lying about talking to God, the Holy Spirit, or important people in this world. Please come down to earth, greatness is not a fake weave or false teeth. You have to work and earn it!

(h) Gullibility: How is it that you are so gullible? Listen, don’t be cynical but do not be naive either. If you’re mature, question everything and everyone!

(i) MANIPULATION and OBSESSIVE CONTROL – immature people thrive on emotional, intellectual, psychological, economic, social, and political blackmail. They try and make other people feel guilty for not satisfying their childish fantasies, sense of entitlement, megalomania, narcissism, etc. They never want you to know, interact with, or experience life except according to what they dictate or direct. This is neither attention nor care oo, it is an emotional and mental health condition. Ask yourself, am I manipulative and controlling or am I being manipulated and controlled? Seek change urgently!

NB. Don’t waste life criticizing people simply because you differ from them. Recognize greatness in others so that your own may echo through theirs!