Modular narcissism creates images of consumerism as Love. Images of People consuming things, money, and each other. Like all consumerism, it gets tiring and the fall-outs are hectic. But before the fall-outs, folks use each other irredeemably until they become emotional deserts. You hear some say “I can never love again”? What does that even mean? You’re hurt, offended, bitter, disappointed, dejected, rejected, used, and abused? Emotionally exhausted?

I personally believe that you cannot effectively serve or love anyone that you’re not empathetic towards. Faith in anything or anyone is rooted in passion, love, and trust.

Let’s step back a little and reflect on the idea of Love in Christianity and Islam. These are mere highlights based on my limited personal experiences and understanding.

1. CHRISTIANITY :
Christian researchers and Teachers suggest that there are four(4) kinds of love, namely :

(a) Agape Love/divine love: selfless giving love that gives freely with no thought of return ( 1 John 2:10; Corinthians 8:9-13)

(b) Phileo Love / Brotherly Love: tender affection or friendly endearment which requires reciprocation

(c) Storge Love: Natural affection as in a mother’s love

(d) Eros Love: Sexual or sensual love often expressed between lovers

NB. Each of these categories of love is abused daily. The standard is often personalized, weaponized, or commodified.

The religious standards of love are onerous. Here are a few examples :

– Matthew 22:37-40 says that: ‘You shall love the Lord Your God with All your Heart, with All your Soul, and with All your Mind. This is the First & great Commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself

– 1 Corinthians 13 has 18 characteristics of Love, namely: Patience, Kindness, Not jealous, not boastful, not arrogant, well behaved, not selfish, not easily provoked, does not keep a record of wrongs it suffers, does not rejoice in evil, bears all things, endures all things, rejoices with the truth, hopes in all things, never fails, does no harm and covers up the wrongs of others.

2. ISLAM

There are many ideas that define Love in Islam. Here are a few :

a) Love, Companionship and Affection for other People

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought” [Quran 30:21].

The Quran notes the innate human need for companionship – we are, after all, social beings who do need affection and love. The Quran encourages humans to find a companion and spouse, who can in turn help one understand the importance and joy in sharing affection and mercy.

b) Mutuality of Shared Faith and Brotherhood

“The believers are but brothers, so make a settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy” [Quran 49:10].

By equating all believers as brothers, or family, the Holy Quran commands all to love one another as part of a wider family of humankind. In the Quaran, Love should not and cannot be limited to romantic love or spousal love, and instead should be utilized to help build a society of merciful and respectful brothers and sisters (mutuality).

c) Love and Doing Good

“And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good” [Quran 2:195].

This is a commandment to any practicing Muslim – that desire to be loved by Allah, to be able to receive the love of the Most Highest, as the ultimate blessing beyond human imagination. The precondition for such a blessing is simply to do good. This may entail living each day trying to make the right decision in life, with the end goal of doing everything we can to try and receive the love of Allah.

4) Unity in diversity, Temporal-ness of the present life, and Goodness

“To each of you, we prescribed w and a method. Had Allah willed, He would have made you one nation [united in religion], but [He intended] to test you in what He has given you; so race to [all that is] good. To Allah is your return all together, and He will [then] inform you concerning that over which you used to differ” [Quran 5:48].

The Holy Quran underscores two things: first, we were made different to be tested in numerous different ways, and second, in the end, we will all be returned to Allah together despite whatever differences we may have had during our lifetimes here on earth. Knowing that we are all returning to Allah together, despite our different tests and nations, is a stark reminder of the power of loving and respecting one another during our time in this world. The end will be the same for us all. When it all ends we are returning to Allah to account for our deeds – which means we must always treat each other with a certain level of empathy and love.

5) True Love is Always Shared or Given Away!

“Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allah ] from that which you love. And whatever you spend – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it” [Quran 3:92].

The Quran teaches about the importance of sharing your love – for only by sharing your love can you truly understand how important it really is. The above verse is an important reminder that we must try to give and share whatever we may have, in the duty towards living in a society of brothers and sisters who respect and love one another as family

I deliberately cited the Quran and Bible because most Christians and Muslims don’t read each other’s texts. They rely on social media and populist interpretation of each other’s faith. Both Islam and Christianity teach the importance of love.

WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?

My own experience has taught me that LOVE is a WAY of doing things, a lifestyle. Ernesto Che Guevara once said ‘every revolutionary is impelled – moved, motivated, inspired, powered- by LOVE. Love for people and love for the country.

LOVE is the FRUIT of your innermost being, character, and personality as well as seeing & doing things in a particular way. LOVE is a journey, it is often long and unpredictable. Most Love is both a School and a Lesson. You have to teach yourself or be taught to love. Love is also an obligation and to some a divine Commandment. Like any journey, love requires planning and doing. Like any fruit, it must be planted, nurtured through cultivation, and fertilized through the investment of time. It is important to study love like a Lesson and to discipline oneself in and through it like you would in school. Love must be obeyed as a Commandment and enjoyed as an adventure!

True friendship and love do not end, they just assume another form. A different form from the previous one!